Saturday, September 18, 2010

Atheists, Christains, fags, EVERYONE READ

This article blew my mind away.
Give me your thoughts

I don't necessarily believe this, but i strongly agree with everything this article is saying

Thursday, September 16, 2010

How to shoplift

Blind Spot
A blind-spot is a section of the store where you are barely visible by any cameras or employees and can thus feel free to both collect and dump stuff, without fear of being seen. Make sure your blind-spot is not under surveillance. Never do anything where someone else may see you, even a customer. You can make your own spot inside a shopping cart with large packages to conceal your movements or use display units to your advantage. Also a friends body can be used to block viewing. You will always want to act quickly once you have entered your blind spot and never grab an item and walk straight to your area. Shop your way into it like you need something from there and then shop your way out like you did nothing wrong. Never hang around your blind-spot for too long and don’t keep using the same spot, especially if you are leaving opened packages. Most of all, be careful to never lead Loss Prevention to your blind-spot and remember that Loss Prevention will know their store better then you and will already know where all the blind spots are.

Dressing Room
After selecting cloths you head to the Dressing Room to try them on. While your in there you decide that instead of purchasing them, you’re going to shoplift them. This can be easily done in the privacy of this little room as long as you know what your doing. The inside of dressing rooms will normally not be monitored by Loss Prevention. If they do they have to have a sign saying that “Dressing Rooms are monitored” for it to be legal. Also most dressing rooms are not 100% private. A lot of times the door or curtain stops about 2 feet from the floor giving Loss Prevention an opportunity to observe some of your actions, especially with a small shoe mirror. Regardless of all of this, you’re going for it and there are several ways you could go about concealing your items.

First thing you do is to remove any security tags on the cloths. Removing tags is discussed in the ‘Tools of the Trade’. The most common way to obtain your new cloths would be to place them into another stores bag that you walked in with. Second would be to wear the new cloths under what your already wearing or fold them up and tape them to your body. You could also just exchange the old cloths you are wearing for new ones. Remember to never leave any tags or hangers behind. Otherwise you will be alerting the staff that you took something. Some store will now count the clothing going in and out of the dressing room. To get around this just bring in some older or cheaper cloths in another stores bag, exchange them and place all the tags / stickers on them.

Body Stuffing
This is a common technique used by women. With a dress on they will take an expensive item such as a bluray and hold it between their thighs and walk out. Also you could have a inflatable ball so that you appear pregnant. Gather cloths and go into a dressing room, deflate the ball and place the cloths in its place, so that you still appear pregnant. Men could taking some small expensive items and place them in the small of your back. Wearing a tight shirt tucked in with a baggier outer shirt would help conceal any item. Cloths can be wrapped and taped around your torso and your legs while wearing bagger cloths. Remember you have to be able to walk out the door without arousing suspicion.

The Drink Cup Concealment
A large drink is purchased and then brought into the store. You then proceed to drop small heavy items like jewelry into the drink cup. On leaving the store the drink cup is unlikely to be searched. You must be wary of drinking too much or the items will be revealed in the bottom of the cup.

Sleight of hand
This is a technique used to manipulate items by secretly palming them and hiding the items out of sight while diverting the sales associates attention somewhere else. This is easily done with jewelry and an inattentive sales person. While looking at multiple jewelry you have the sales person distracted while an expensive item is slipped into a pocket. Though it is easy to distract the human eye, the camera is a little harder to fool, so you must keep this in mind when using this tactic.

The Drop Bag
This Simple technique is use when a person brings a bag from another store in with them. As they shop around the store they will pick up two of the same items and inconspicuously drop one of the items into the open bag while looking the other item over. They then put the one item back as if they didn’t want it and make another selection.

Magic Bags
A person will bring a foil lined bag that they made out of approximately 10 layers of heavy aluminum-foil, into a store. This is to help shield the security tags that are on merchandise from the alarm towers at the exit of a store. Choose small expensive items and place them into your Magic bag. The tags must be completely shielded for this to work. Seal the bag so that it cannot be penetrated by radio frequency. If there is a “leak” (i.e. If the signal from the tower reach the tag through a opening in the bag) the towers will be activated. You can test it by inserting a cell-phone in to the bag and calling the number. If the phone rings that means the layers are too thin, or there is a hole that is allowing the radio waves in. This bag will only work with the RF (radio frequency) tags. In order for it to work with AM (acousto-magnetic) tags you will need to increase the amount of foil to 30 layers of heavy aluminum-foil. A side note - you may use copper or tin plates instead of the foil to make a magic bag. The only issue with this would be weight. Read ‘Anti-Shoplifting Devices’ to better understand the difference between the RF and AM security tags.

Magic Box
Like the Magic Bag a shoebox is lined with the appropriate layers of aluminum-foil and inserted into a bag of a local store. The box is placed so the opening is facing up, thus when you are in a concealed area you can discreetly drop items into your box. When you are ready to leave, just close the box with the lid (which was never removed from the bag) and walk out.

Magic Pocket
You can line a hidden pocket inside of a jacket with aluminum-foil to create a Magic Bag. You would typically cut the bottom out of an inside pocket and then insert a envelope that has been wrapped in foil. You would then place small items into it and seal the flap so that the radio waves won’t penetrate the envelope.

Bag Switching
Bag switching is attempted by two people who come into the store separately The first person will gather a large amount of merchandise that they want to remove from the store and place it into a large bag. They will then inconspicuously switch their bag with the second person, who has a matching bag that is already filled with items that came from another store. If Loss Prevention is watching the first person and miss the bag switch they will more then likely stop them while the second person walks out with the goods.

Box Stuffing
This Technique requires the use of a low priced box. You open the box and remove the contents of the box. You then proceed to refill the box with more expensive items. You then reseal the box and take it to a checkout aisle, where you pay the purchase price for the item. You then leave the store with the more expensive items concealed. If the items in the box have security tags on them they will still be active and will set off the alarm towers as you exit. Most of the time the staff will flag you through thinking a mistake was made at the register and the box was not deactivated. You can also leave the low priced item in the box if you have room for your concealed merchandise, make your purchase, then just bring the box with the item back in for a full refund.

Shoe Switching
This is a typical switch a roué technique where you leave a store with new shoes while leaving your old pair in the store. Some shoe stores will still have both shoes in the box with no security tags on them. These shoes will be the are the easiest to remove. Just swap out when no one is looking. If one of the shoes has a security tag in it then you will need to either use a tag detacher to remove it or if the tag is in a shoe lace hole you can cut the leather a little and pull the tag through the ripped hole. In a store where the employee has to retrieve shoes for you, find the shoes you wish to liberate. Once the salesperson retrieves the right pair, have them go back to the stock room to get another style so you can compare the two. Once the employee is sent back to the stockroom, you simply walk out with the new pair of shoes leaving the old pair in the box. It is always good to have at least two boxes of shoes left on the floor with the old pair in a bottom covered box and an other new pair exposed on top of it. This should allow you time to move away from the store as the employee seeing that you left the new shoes and boxes, will assume that you changed your mind and left.

High / Low Shopping Cart
With this technique two people will fill up a couple of shopping carts. One will have a few expensive items in it while the other cart will be full of miscellaneous items. You then proceed to the cashier and unload the expensive items first. The cashier scans the items and removes the security tags. As one person loads up the first cart with the high value goods the second person continues to unload the second cart. The second shopper distracts the cashier while the first leaves with the expensive items in the cart. When it comes time to pay the second shopper pays with an invalid credit card or gift card. After a few embarrassing moments the second shopper tells the cashier that they will have to go and get the first shopper who has the cash and leaves the rest of the items behind. They both then leave with the expensive items.

Shopping Cart Passing
Shopping cart passing is attempted by a two-person group. The first person will gather the desired merchandise into a shopping cart and take it to the register. The cashier will then ring up all the merchandise and place it in bags. Once the total is rung up, the shopper pays with an invalid credit card or gift card. Acting embarrassed for not being able to pay to first shopper leaves the store. Most cashiers will put the shopping cart off to the side and resume ringing up other customers. At this point, the second person moves in and grabs the cart and walks out of the store with the stolen merchandise already in bags.

Shopping Cart Hiding
You find the item that you are looking for and place it under the cart. You then continue to gather a small dollar amount of merchandise and places it in the upper part of the shopping cart. You then bring the cart to the register and remove all of the merchandise with the exception of the item you wish to take on the bottom of the cart. A lot of times this will be overlooked by the cahier and not rung up. Also small expensive items can be placed under large boxes or bags that are to big to be picked up at the register. If the cashier is not paying attention you will usually be able to get the merchandise past them without much effort. After paying for the smaller dollar items you leave the store.

Push Out
You fill the cart with a lot of high dollar items and you then proceed to the exit. This technique works well when there are register stands throughout the store and there are multiple exits. It would also help to have a receipt in your hand from a prior visit so that it looks like you have paid for the items in the shopping cart.

The Self Bagger
With this technique you enter the store with the stores bags already on you. The bags should be as new as they can be and you should have already acquired them in advance. Never walk into a store and pick up a bag out of the recycle bin or an empty cashiers stand. Begin by making your selections and then proceed to a predetermined blind spot in the store. You will then bag up the merchandise and place it the cart. With the merchandise bagged proceed to leave the store. This works really well if there are multiple cashers stands through out the store.

The Texas Twofer
This in also called the Two for One technique and works well in stores that have multiple check out stands and exits. You enter the store and proceed to gather items you wish to take into a shopping cart. Then placing the cart in a predetermined out of the way area, you grab a second cart and gather the exact same items into the cart. You then take and pay for all those items and leave the store with your receipt. You can either have a second partner or do it yourself. Come back into the store with the receipt and go to your first cart. Bag up the items and proceed to another exit with your receipt as if you just purchased it. This technique could be done for a third time if the store has three exits, but I would caution that this should only be done with a partner.

Bag Alarm
This works best in Mall stores. You walk into a store with a bag of items from an other store. Inside the bag is a concealed active security tag that will trigger the security alarm towers at the entrance of the store. Make a big deal out of it and make sure an employee notices that it was you that trigger the gates as you entered. Comment that there must be something from another store in their bag that triggered the gates. Ask them if they want to hold onto your bag while you shop and just pick it up on the way out. Find the items you want and conceal them on your body. If you still have your bag you may want to put items underneath the items you brought in. Remember though an alert staff may want to look into your bag as you leave. Before you leave find the employee that saw you come in tell them that as you go out you might set of the alarms again. When you trigger the gates again, just keep on walking.

False Alarm
Have a friend enter the store a few minutes before you do and act as if you do not know each. You collect the items that you wish to take while your friend gets a few low dollar items and purchases them. As they leave the store you will walk out right behind them. As they reach the alarm towers have them hesitate a little as you walk through setting off the alarm. You discreetly keep on walking while your friend stops and draws all the attention by looking confused with the bags. They should be very co-operative and happily opens all of their bags for the employee to see yet nothing they have will triggers the gates again. Give an explanation of the False Alarm by saying that it must be cell phone interference.

Decoy Alarm
You place an active tag into another shoppers bag while they are not paying attention. This works especially well with someone with children. You follow closely behind them as they walk through the alarm towers. The active tag will set off the alarm and the unsuspecting shopper will stop, as you continue to walk through. Parents will think that maybe their kid had something on them. All the attention will be on them as you leave the store.

Suspicious Friend
Have a friend enter the store a few minutes before you do and act as if you do not know each other. The friend will walk around the store acting very suspicious. Picking up items and putting them into a pocket making sure that they are seen, but not being obvious. When an employee sees someone acting suspicious they will begin watch that person. You then proceed to the opposite side of the store and retrieve the merchandise that you wish to take. Make any necessary adjustments to the items in order to remove them and then leave. Your friend should place any objects that where concealed back and then depart. If they are stopped while exiting they can easy prove that they didn’t take anything.

The Bathroom Heist
You need two people for this. Have a friend go into the store a few minutes after you. You go in and select whatever you want. The second person will have already entered the store and gone into the restroom. Have them wait in a stall. You go in with the merchandise. Go into the other stall next to your friend. Peek down at your friend's shoes to make sure they are really next to you. Hand the merchandise under the stall, have them conceal the item and walk out first, leaving the store. You wait a couple of minutes, and then leave. If you are approached while leaving the store say you don’t know what they are talking about because you didn’t take anything. You decided not to buy anything and set the item down. You don’t what happened to it, it is not your reasonability to keep track of stores stuff. Do not admit to anything.!. You did nothing wrong and Loss Prevention will have to let you go.

This commonly happens at a grocery store. While you are walking around shopping, you pick up some food such as candy, and eat it. If questioned you say that you entered the store with the item. When you are done with the item you discard the empty package on a shelf.

Out The Wrong Door
Some stores will have a separate one way entrance and exit doors. The entrance door will normally not have an alarm and can not be opened from the inside of the store. The alarm towers will be on the exit doors. This method will require two people or the help of an unsuspecting customer. You go in and retrieve merchandise from the store and conceal it. When you are ready to leave the store with your items, you wait at the entrance door. Have your friend open the entrance door for you as you walk out. You could do this without a friends help. Just wait by the entrance as a customer comes in and grab the door before it closes and walk out.

Walk Out
You go into a store and shop like you normally would collecting as many expensive items as you can carry. As long as your appearance and attitude are not of a suspicious nature you should go unnoticed. Once you have collected your items just walk out and go to your car and leave. This is easily done in small clothing shops that do not have Loss Prevention. The sales associates will be slow to react. It could also be done in large department stores that have multiple entrances as long as you have a friend waiting in a car ready to leave. If the store has only Ink Tags you may not even be noticed as you leave. If an alarm sounds, then continue to walk calmly out the door.

Grab and Run
You enter a store with prior knowledge of what you are looking for. You move toward the merchandise you wish to take. Once you have the merchandise then proceed to the nearest store exit, very quickly. I recommend two people, one as a driver and the other as the runner. Before entering the parking lot for the store, remove the license plate. Coordinate watches and have a set time that the car will pull up the door. Before dashing out, make sure the driver knows to open the rear passenger door. This way you can just run out and dive into the back as the driver peels off because employees are sure to follow you out. Find a safe place to reattach your license plate. Due to the short time that you are inside the store, the people who attempt this are rarely caught, or in some cases even detected. Also a group of people can rush a store and grab as much merchandise as possible and then rush out. The speed with which this happens and the large numbers of people involved make it very difficult to stop.

Emergency Exits
This a very old technique and still may work from time to time especially during the holidays. A person gathers a lot of expensive merchandise into a cart and goes to the nearest Emergency Exits . You grab all of your items, push the bar that sets off an alarm and open the door. Have a friend in a car waiting right outside the door for a fast get away. You need to remember that exits will usually have cameras watching them and all of your actions and your face could be recorded. Emergency exits will all have alarms and the newer ones are on a time release. This means when you hit it, it will not open for 10 seconds after the alarm goes off. Loss Prevention are very aware of this tactic and will be watching for suspicious behavior around these doors.

Casher Scanning
An easy scam done by a cashier is to have a barcode stuck on the inside of their wrist so when a friend wishes to purchase something, instead of swiping the item the cashier actually swipes their wrist. This is effective when purchasing fifty dollar video games, which will actually ring up a couple packs of gum. This method eludes security cameras since it looks like an actual sale transaction is taking place.

Receipt Matching
This technique requires that you already have a receipt for the merchandise that you are going to return. You could search either retailer’s parking lot or trashcans looking for receipts that have a high dollar item on it paid for in cash. The problems with this is that stores try to prevent this type of return by installing outdoor cameras to watch the parking lots. Some will also have a greater who will give you a sticker when you enter with a return. This prevents people from acquiring items from within the store to return. Newer stores now have their return desk entrance separate from the store entrance to prevent you from doing this. If these are not issues then enter the store and compare the items on the receipt to the merchandise in the store. Once the you find a match take the merchandise to the return area and receive money for it.

Receipt Passing
With this technique you need a partner who waits out side as you enter the store.
You select an expensive item and proceed to the checkout and purchase the item. Outside of the store you Pass the receipt and the stores bag off to your partner while you take the item to your car. With the receipt and bag concealed the second person goes into the store and finds the same item. they will then inconspicuously place the item into the bag and pick up a cheaper item on the way to the registers. With the receipt in hand they pay for the cheap item telling the casher they thought that they had better get this item before they leave.

Fake Returns
You go to the returns desk with a receipt and a box that contains a used or broken item, or something that has the same weight as the original item. This is best done when the return cashiers are busy and will not open the package. It also helps to have completely resealed the box and saying that it has never been opened. You would just like to have something different. However most high dollar items and almost all electronics will have a serial number on the outside of the box and it will be scanned at time of purchase. If it is returned, it will have to match the serial number on the item inside the box. They will open the box to double check it. You should have purchased the original item with cash so as to leave no evidence pointing to you.

Receipt printing
This method is a little more involved then most techniques because it requires you to have a thermal printer and receipt paper from the store you wish to make returns to. This can only be done with stores that do not use Bar-coding identification on the receipts. You purchase a few high value items with cash and gain a receipt that you can then copy. You proceed to make multiple copies of the same receipt so that you can use them to return items that you have taken from the store for a cash refund.

Receipt-less returns
This is a way of receiving cash or a store merchandise card without a receipt. You could attempt to remove items from off of the sales floor, walk up to the return desk, say that you lost your receipt and you would like to receive a refund. Unfortunately this is a risky move because Loss Prevention might be watching you as you go the return desk. After concealing the items, you leave the store. You would then proceed to another store and return the item there with out a receipt. Most stores will now require you to have a photo ID to return an item without a receipt and will limit how many returns you can make in a year. Large dollar amounts will always have to be approved by a supervisor. You can have fake Ids made up so that you can return more often to a store.

Fence Sliding
In stores that have garden centers one may be capable of sliding small expensive items under the fence. You then leave out the exit and come around to where slide your item under the fence. Or you could slide it to a waiting friend on the other side. Just remember to watch for those outdoor cameras.

Key & Serial Numbers
Many people download versions of games or software from the internet but cannot use the full version without a valid license. There are a couple ways of obtaining a license without removing the merchandise from the store. Take the item into a blind spot so that the packaging can be removed. Conceal the item and then take it into the privacy of a bathroom or dressing room to remove the packaging. Copy the serial number and then place the package in an inconspicuous place away from prying eyes.

Defective Software
A person buys a piece of software from a computer store, exits, opens the software, and records the serial number / CD key for single license of the software purchased. After at least a few hours the same person re-enters the store where he bought the software and complains to customer service that the installation disc is defective. Most computer store policies allow same-item exchange for opened computer software, so the person is given a different copy of the same software. The person now has two licenses after only paying for one.

It is possible to pass small items expensive items or large items through the self checkout without scanning them. You can do this if you have a lot of items you are purchasing. You can take a large item and pretend to scan it and place it right into the bag at the same time you pick up on the bag and place into your cart. The bagging area has a weigh scale that checks the weight of the scanned items. If there is a discrepancy, the supervising attendant is signaled to come to the station for assistance. The object is to never let the unscanned item sit in the bagging area. The scales will some times miss small light items so you could place multiple items into a bag without the computer noticing it. Beware - these checkout lanes are watched very closely by LP. Most have a camera overhead watching what you scan and a computer screen off site mirroring what your scanning.

Barcode Counterfeiting
While you are shopping you find an expensive item that you wish to have. You also noticed a cheaper version of the same item. You copy the numbers down from the UPC / Barcode off of the cheaper item. You can find bar coding applications and information on the internet that will generate a bar code for you. Print one out on a sticky label and then take it back into the store and place it over the barcode of the expensive item. Go through the checkout process, make a payment, have any security tags deactivated by the cashier and then walk out without arousing suspicion with your new item.

Ticket Switching
You find an item on clearance and remove the clearance tag. You then find a similar high dollar item and apply the clearance tag to it. You then bring the high dollar item to an unsuspecting cashier and pay for it at a clearance price. Unfortunately most retailers today now utilize electronic barcodes that when scanned will ring up the correct price.

Gift Card Cloning
With this tactic you go into a store and remove a bunch of Gift Cards that have no value. With a card reader you obtain the numbers off of the magnetic strip on the back of the cards and make copies of them. You then return the cards and wait for a customer to activate one. Once activated and money is added to the card the value is also then passed to the cloned card.

Opps - Did I Do That
When a person takes their place in the check out line with the items they intend to take, and pay for only one of those items while holding what they want to take in full view to cause confusion but avoid suspicion due to their apparent intention of payment. If the unlikely event of being caught, they could simply pass off the attempt as accidental.


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-Next time you lose your phone charger, don't buy another one. Go to a hotel and say you think you lost it there. It's the #1 most left behind item at hotels, so most places have a big bin filled with every phone charger imaginable.

-to get free air (for your tires) at Shell gas stations, press the button on the side of the pump three times. The pump will start without you having to insert any coins.

-I worked at an engine manufacturing plant for a while.

Don't ever buy a car on its very first generation. Most of the time, the tech is just pushed out the door and used to test it in the field so that the second gen can be much, much more stable.

-If you tip the pizza guy well, he will deliver your food first.

-I work at a car dealership, and I'm always amazed at how easy it is to get a rock bottom price on a car, especially new.

Once you've chosen the car you want, go inside the building and let the salesman show you his offer. Tell them you're going to go to another dealership (preferably the same size or bigger) and see if you can get a better offer. The next price you get will likely be unbeatable. Follow through anyway just to be safe.

With used cars, you will want to find two nearly identical cars at different dealerships. Follow the process above, though you might have to go back and forth a few times.

If you don't give your last name or phone number, they'll feel extra compelled to give you a reason to come back. Dealerships would rather have you be their customer than someone else's, no matter how little they make on the deal. Also, you'll be better off doing business in person. All in all, this should only take a day.

-Anytime that you book a hotel room through a 3rd party website, like Expedia, you are not actually guaranteed the room type that you booked. I work at a hotel, and people get screwed over if they happen to make their reservation on a night when we are sold out. We try to accommodate everyone, but we only have so many 2 Queen Non-Smoking rooms. So call ahead to be sure that your family of 5 won't be stuck in a Smoking King Jacuzzi room.

Also, hotels sometimes remove the ashtrays from rooms and stick an Air-Zone in there. This makes it "non-smoking".

-Actually this is an industry standard for many retailers (food to clothing) xx.95 is regular price xx.99 is the sale xx.97 is last call clearance before it is sent to liquidators.

-If you want to buy anything expensive from Apple on their website you can save 15-20% . Log in/create an account, go to the configurator and spec out what you want, then go to checkout, but do not buy. Do nothing else for about 7-10 days. You should then get a call from Apple offering a deal if you buy then and there. Worked for my iMac.

-Do something for free once a month (if possible). For example, If you deliver pizzas, give one away for free and pay for it yourself. Don't go half way, either - do it up right, and do it once a month.

Our business develops applications (web, desktop, mobile) and develops online marketing strategies for small to medium sized businesses (email marketing, local online targeting, etc.), and I make it a point to do something for free once a month. This month I'm helping a local auto repair business create a cheap, effective marketing strategy. Business is tough for them, and they operate in a college town (big college, 45k+ people) so I suggested advertising to the students and faculty. They are a solid business, they've always done quality work for me (4 years going), and it's only going to take 10 hours of my month to put a decent plan into action for these people and have them take the wheel once it's up and running.

Do it because it makes you feel good, do it because it gets you more business, do it because you're bored, I don't care what motivates you, just do it.

-1.You can use the telnet program to connect directly to SMTP mail servers, and send an email ( or text message ) from anyone to anyone.

2.Subway has no reliable way of doing inventory, so if you have a friend who works there, they can hook you up pretty easily.

3.Ettercap, airoscript, and Nessus.

4.Don't talk to hookers with walkie talkies

Edit / Update : At subway they do count stuff, the problem is if you want extra lettuce, or pickles, or something other than meat, they do not keep track of that. Also if a worker accidentally puts mayo on your sandwich, and you didn't want mayo, they throw the whole thing away without voiding, or counting the lost sandwich.

I work for a surviellance company and one of the biggest problems we have had to date is how to reliably control theit, keep it on the dl.

-@ walmart, hold down all 4 corner buttons on the credit card machine to reboot it and piss of the next customer in line (behind you) who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

-If you're looking for a hooker, grab your camera and tell them you wanna take nude photos of them. This is not illegal and 99% of undercover cops won't let you take them.

-If you're at a rave and don't feel like paying $5-$20 for a bottle of water, which is how we make the majority of our income, tell a member of the staff (preferably an organiser [we shuffle around a lot and talk on walkie talkies]) that you were given some kind of pill and now you're feeling dehydrated.

The last thing we want is a hospital run, and unless I'm really busy I'll personally bring you over to the merchant table and lift a couple of bottles for you.

This may also work in nightclubs and at festivals.

-Many elevators have a code system for accessing restricted floors. A common one is to simultaneously press and hold the top two vertically oriented buttons. In this example it might be either 8 and 6 or 7 and 5. In fancy hotels this can get you onto the concierge floor without a key to snag free food. Just walk in like you belong, the guests change too frequently for them to keep track of everyone.

-Holding down F8 while booting into Windows XP for safe mode will often times reveal an administrator account at the login window that by default is not password protected.

-Longish story, some friends and I were drinking and at around 12:50 decided we wanted a pizza. Me and a guy decdided we were craving 'feta' on our pizza. The guy who was going to order the pizza looked disgusted and tried to talk us out of it. We said, 'Hey get them to put 2 servings of feta on it!'. So the guy called the pizza place, which just happened to close at 1.

"Hey, some stupid friends of mine want to order a fucking pizza with fucking feta on it. So I want to order a large pizza, with ham, and green pepper and soooo much fucking feta on it that my friends will be sick of feta for the rest of their fucking lives"

The pizza when it came must have weighed 5 pounds, there was easily an inch thick of feta on it. we were only charged to 4 ingredients (feta, feta, onion and ham) and we were sick of feta for around 6 months.

-When it comes to home security - GET A BIG FUCKING DOG!

A big intimidating dog. It doesn't need to be agressive, just needs to bark loud at people wanting to jump your fence. If you are going away for a while, have your neighbour or a friend park their car in your driveway (not garage) every so often. Go to the hardware store and buy timers to put on your lamps so they turn on and off at intervals. Get someone to retrieve your mail (thats a big one). If your going for a LONG time, get someone to mow your lawn. Keep you jewellery/money/goods in your dishwasher (yea, thats right) or if you dont have one put them in the manhole or laundry basket. Engrave your tv, hifi computer and laptop and take photos. And if you want to go all out - boobytrap the fuck out of your house. The best one is to ask a local clothes store if they have any broken mannequins/dummies, then dress it up and lay it on the floor in a main room with tiles. Mix bbq sauce, tomato sauce and water and put as much as you want around it. Guranteed as soon as someone finds it they will get the fuck out of your house.

I worked in the security industry for over 10 years. You are paying 500% markup on all electronic devices. They are ALL flawed and will either not work properly or be crazy senesitive (this is no mistake either, as you will require the technician to re-attend to fix, costing more $$$). Technicians are extremely lazy and expensive, they cost the company roughly $30p/h and you will be charged about $75-80 p/h.

As an example - For a monitored security system - you will pay somewhere between $1500-$6000. The actual cost to the company is about $300 (incl installation time charged by tech). Monitoring will cost $300-400 a year. The cost to the company is $25. And after all of this, the alarm will activate like crazy for false alarms (bugs, heat, cold etc) which creates extra charges on your home phone bill and insane charges for having to get a patrol car to respond. The police more than often will not respond to an alarm activation. I had the rare case that they said they would respond to a priority 1 duress alarm, and called back 6 HOURS LATER asking for the address because they lost it and were going to check it out.

Security systems are NOT preventative measures. The do nothing other than alert you to the fact you have been robbed, which you are helpless (and you would find out at some later date anyway).

It is an absolute criminal industry, and yes I couldn't take trying to do the right thing in that environment so I left.

-I worked at Budget Rentals a number of years ago, so this may have changed. When you make a reservation for x class car, it means absolutely nothing. They will not go out of their way to get you that specific size car on time unless you're renting a luxury model. If you show up and they happen to not have your class they'll do one of two things:

1. Upgrade you for free to the next larger class. This is fine, but you can fuss that you specifically requested the smaller car to save gas (due to lower MPG). You'll get a small deal, like paying the cost of the class below your original reservation.

2. The distraction method: They won't even acknowledge your class request, but instead ask "So, what car can we put you in today?" and indicate the lot, suggesting you look around. If you pick a larger class car, you'll get charged accordingly. If you pick smaller, you just "requested" that car, so they're off the hook for your reservation. Or they might ask "Is a Sebring/Spectra/whatever okay for you today?", again, without acknowledging your reservation. If you say yes, they're off the hook again. Lesson: know the classes/models and call them on it.

The only other thing I can think of right now is the gas trick. When I was working there, the policy was that all rentals come ready with a full tank of gas. If the car happened to not be full (lazy employees/busy day), the employee would just say "so, the meter's at 3/4 tank, just bring it back at the same." This sucks, because you can't really estimate distance against the meter level, so you'll likely come back with too much gas, which they keep. Or, you come in under, which they charge you ridiculous rates to refill. Or, you drive around the block wasting gas and time to spite them 'cause your meter's too high. Lesson: always request them to fill up the tank and just wait the five/ten minutes.

-I'm a 911 operator on the graveyard shift.

The very first thing you should do to ensure your safety—especially in life-threatening situations—is to state your location. Cell phone triangulation is imperfect, and sometimes landline info is out of date. The moment an operator has an address or intersection, the police can be dispatched.

-The only way to get rich quick is to rip off other people trying to get rich quick by offering them some bullshit, non-working way to get rich quick.

-If you get lost somewhere, always retrace your steps instead of going further into the unknown.

-If you can't live within your means, you won't ever be happy because you'll increase your spending with every raise/promotion.

-Always be aware of what people might misconstrue your message to. You may have the best intentions but if it isn't perceived that way then the message is lost.

-Job interviews are worthless. People will do anything to get the job they want. To really get to know someone, take them to lunch and make them drive. You learn about their self-control about by their driving behavior, you learn how civilized they are by their table manners, and you learn how much they know about what you're hiring them for by initiating conversation about the industry.

-I work for a real estate agency.

-The less expensive your house is, the less attention your realtor will give you, especially if they have other clients that will bring them more money.

Also? You totally don't need a realtor. You just need research, and there are plenty of realtors that will do free appraisals and give you free market statistics without signing.

-Always poo at work; 1) you get paid for doing it. 2) you get to use company resources.

-Food Industry:

* The "Special" of the day is usually what is left over and is going bad, we need to get rid of it and make a profit somehow.

* We make the most money off of drinks, especially mixed drink 'specials'.

* If you send your soup back because it's not hot enough there's a good chance we will just warm up your spoon instead.

* Don't order prime rib at the end of the night. It's not prime anymore.

* The best selling items will be at the top and bottom of the menu.

* That expensive fajita you're ordering is made out of the cheapest beef we can get, usually skirt steak. The servers will also take the 'sizzling' plate of beef the longest way around the restaurant.

* A lot of times the side of lemon slices you ordered with your water were not washed before being cut.

* Hamburgers are more likely to make you sick if cooked below well then a steak.

* Don't get fish on Sunday or Monday.


(Since this was mentioned by OP) Only way I have heard of hacking an elevator that works properly: If you live in a tall building or if you're in a hurry you can catch an elevator that is going the wrong way and reset it to go to the floor you want to go to.


An example where this is helpful: If a punk kid hit all the buttons before jumping out of the lift. Or in the situation where the elevator you need to go down on stops first on a floor above you, picks up a lift-full of people and so when you have to wait even longer for the next lift.


Stop the elevator as it is going past you and reset it.


It will prevent someone who is a floor above or below you to have to wait for the next lift, and if there are people already inside that elevator you'll seem like you hit the wrong button. So use this sparingly unless you don't mind being an asshole or appearing like an idiot.


1) Call the elevator to go the direction you need to go in (e.g. DOWN)

2) Then call the elevator to go the opposite direction (e.g. UP)

3) If the DOWN elevator comes first, just hop on like you normally do.

If the UP elevator comes first it will be stopped on your floor and open, if it is empty get onto it. But first...

4) Find the switch in the gap between the wall and the elevator. It is attached to the front of the elevator above the door.

5) Hit that switch, it will reset the elevator canceling any calls it was to make.

6) Choose your floor.


To reset an elevator follow steps 4, 5 & 6 above.

Edit: for line breaks

-Worked at bath and body works. They will take back anything even if it's used, even if its practically gone, and you'll at least get store credit, if you manage to keep the receipt, your money back. All you have to say is it started to bother your skin as you used it more, it's a done deal, we're not allowed to say no.

Also- there are always $10 off 30 coupons we can use, if you don't have one all you have to do is go in, fill up your bag with $30 worth of stuff, go to someone and say you had completed a survey you thought there was a coupon but you forgot it...if they say no, say oh well and put the stuff down, they will almost always say oh okay I can give it to you this once. They don't want to lose a sale, the CSL's have to make certain numbers and when its lotions you are selling every dollar counts.

-From a past job: grocery stores stack product by sell date, so oldest in the front, freshest in the back. Always grab from the back.

- 1.If go to a realtor and they tell you a price lower than you'd expect for your home, they're probably right. Realtors invest a lot of time, energy and money into successfully marketing a home. They make commission. Therefore they want your home to sell for a lot. If you go to a second realtor and he laughs and says he can sell your home for a lot more, run away. Your home price is determined by the market. This is a relatively simple process. A realtor who gives you a much higher price than his competition is counting on the off, off chance it'll sell for it and they'll get a bigger cut. Sticking it to the competition doesn't hurt, either. This is the telltale sign of an amateur realtor.

2.Want to determine how much your home is worth? Easy. Ask a realtor for access to the MLS. This stands for Multiple Listing Service. It's a database that every piece of property in your region will be entered into. Most realtors pay for client friendly feeds from this database for their buyers to look through. Pull up all the homes for sale in your zip code. Knock out everything that doesn't match your home style (Cape, New Englander, Colonial, Split Entry, Ranch, Raised Ranch, etcetera) Grab ten properties whose square footage roughly equal your own. Weed out bank owned properties, homes that "need TLC" and anything with the word "short sale" in it. You should have 3 - 5 now. Undercut the lowest by $3,000. Ta-da. I do this 5 - 20 times a week.

3.Realtors are snakes. If you find one who seems human, look harder. Still human? Look harder. Still human? Hold on for dear life, you found something more valuable than gold.

-Don't buy from credit jewelers or any jewelry store in the mall, like Zales or Daniel's. They are rip-offs. They peg you as a sucker just for walking in the door. They know that anyone with any knowledge of gold or diamonds wouldn't bother with them. Independent jewelry stores might seem more expensive, but you are not getting crap for your money. Some even make up their own diamond grading systems just to keep you fooled. You can get the same shit for half to a third of the price at your local pawn shop. Also, most cash for gold places are a big rip-off. Find a local smelter and sell them your scrap gold. You will get about 98% of whatever the current spot gold price is. Furthermore, small diamonds can cost a fortune at the jewelry store, but on the scrap market, they only fetch $20 - $60 per carat. Chances are your local pawnbroker is scrapping more than they sell retail. Use this to your advantage to haggle the price down from $500+ per carat to $300 per carat (for small stones) The pawnshop is also a great place to get a loose diamond cheap for a piece that is missing a stone.

-When bread or cheese turn moldy, don't just scrape or cut off the mold and eat it. What you see is just the sporulation - the actual fungus (and all the lovely things it secretes) is likely growing throughout that piece of bread or cheese, and only sporulates once the oldest parts start to die.

So when you cut off the mold, you're still eating mold, as well as all kinds of lovely antibiotics and possibly toxins that it secreted into the food.


-A bum once told me he secret to life was owning stocks. I thought he was going to tell me that he was really a millionaire, but it turns out he just owned lots of different stocks so he could get steak dinners at all the shareholder meetings.

-Pressing zero, mashing keys, or even just cursing a lot will usually skip most automated phone systems and take you directly to an operator.

-Small tips to see wether a person is lying or not:

-If someone is telling you the truth, their palms are often open and visible somehow. If they are hiding their palms in some way, they are most likely NOT telling the truth.

Also, if a persons pupils are contracting or rapidly changing as they speak, or they have some other similar micro-expression, they are most likely lying.

-other thing, if you want a person to do a task for you, like move an object from a location to another, you should not point with your finger. You should be submissive. They way to do this is to point with your hand open, making the inside your palm face upwards. This will make the person feel that you are being polite, and will happily do the task right away.

-Don't buy from credit jewelers or any jewelry store in the mall, like Zales or Daniel's. They are rip-offs. They peg you as a sucker just for walking in the door. They know that anyone with any knowledge of gold or diamonds wouldn't bother with them. Independent jewelry stores might seem more expensive, but you are not getting crap for your money. Some even make up their own diamond grading systems just to keep you fooled. You can get the same shit for half to a third of the price at your local pawn shop. Also, most cash for gold places are a big rip-off. Find a local smelter and sell them your scrap gold. You will get about 98% of whatever the current spot gold price is. Furthermore, small diamonds can cost a fortune at the jewelry store, but on the scrap market, they only fetch $20 - $60 per carat. Chances are your local pawnbroker is scrapping more than they sell retail. Use this to your advantage to haggle the price down from $500+ per carat to $300 per carat (for small stones) The pawnshop is also a great place to get a loose diamond cheap for a piece that is missing a stone.

-When bread or cheese turn moldy, don't just scrape or cut off the mold and eat it. What you see is just the sporulation - the actual fungus (and all the lovely things it secretes) is likely growing throughout that piece of bread or cheese, and only sporulates once the oldest parts start to die.

So when you cut off the mold, you're still eating mold, as well as all kinds of lovely antibiotics and possibly toxins that it secreted into the food.


-A bum once told me he secret to life was owning stocks. I thought he was going to tell me that he was really a millionaire, but it turns out he just owned lots of different stocks so he could get steak dinners at all the shareholder meetings.

-Pressing zero, mashing keys, or even just cursing a lot will usually skip most automated phone systems and take you directly to an operator.

-A police officer told me this one...

I was recently threatened with a knife in my own home. I came home from doing some grocery shopping and caught a thief halfway through stealing my stuff. He threatened me with a knife in order to make his escape. I ran out onto the street yelling "Help Help". According to the police officer who later took my statement, I should have yelled "Fire" because people are more likely to come to the aid of a fire than anything else.

-1) Be nice. This isn't self-serving. When you're cool to a customer service person, you're probably going to be the only nice person they talk to all week. In return, they are far more likely to do what you want.

2) Phone company customer service people typically have no adjustment limit, subject to approval. I've personally placed credits on accounts up to $7,000. If the person is telling you it's above their limit, they're being lazy.

3) There are good and bad people at any job. If you call customer service anywhere, and the person is rude immediately, or didactic, or unreasonable, hang up and call back. Don't say "I'm going to call back and talk to someone else, " Say: "click". I can not stress this enough. 25 minutes on 4 calls where you get what you want beats 45 minutes on one call getting nothing.

4) We know it was you that called Mexico, or Vanuatu, or Albania. We know it was not someone hacking into your line, because nobody would sit atop the pole outside your house or wire into the box in your yard to make calls they could make with a $5 card from 7-11. Instead of denying it, say "I was supposed to be on an international plan," we can add it (earns us a sale) and re-rate your call to a fraction of the cost.

5) Don't bother asking for a manager. Managers are managers not because they are particularly skillful at solving problems, but because they have been successful making sales and quickly getting rid of customers who do not want to buy anything. If the problem is difficult, they will ask me for help.

-If you're at the airport, always offer to take bumps (if you can afford the time). Even if you aren't sure the flight is overbooked, go up to the counter, ask the people if they need anyone to take a bump, and if they do, volunteer. You will usually get comped very well for volunteering, especially if you ask. This is one of the few areas where airline reps have a lot of options; they are legally required to get everyone to their destination, and volunteering will make the gate agent's life easier (and they will reward you for doing so). First class upgrades, free ticket vouchers, etc.

My family and I have been doing this for years. We were just on a trip to San Diego, and all three of us received free flights on United for taking a bump. Once, when going to Cancun, we all got upgraded to first class for the next flight.

-If you're in an auto accident and it's the other person's fault, if on the police report it says you're injured in any way, the insurance company will bend over backwards to make you happy. I'm not suggesting anyone lie. I'm simply saying, the insurance company will move heaven and earth to get your car's damage fixed fast, and do whatever they can to make you happy, if the report says "accident with injury."

-I created a reddit account just for this purpose, so listen up. This is how to get a brand new electronic device for really cheap to replace your old one. When you go to a Staples Business Depot, make sure to buy the Extended Service Plan because a neat little hack goes with this. I used to work customer service and returns and it's virtually impossible to detect this. I don't personally use it myself, but i know people who do this. You buy the service plan for one year (costs from 9.99-29.99$ depending on the price of the object). KEEP THE RECEIPT AND FORMS AND PREFERABLY THE BOX. Then, after a year when the manufacturers warranty runs out and the Extended warranty begins, return it and say it's broken. They'll give you the original amount of money you payed back, or another of the same objects if it's still in stock (which after a year, it probably isn't)

For example, buy an iPod for 150$. Get the service plan for 20$. When apple's 1 year warranty runs out, wait about a month so it's not too suspicious. Then return it to the store and say the battery can't hold a full charge (even though it can).

You: It's supposed to last 10 hours, but only lasts 1.

Them: Ok, can i have your receipt and the service plan form?

You: Sure.

Them: (look over the receipt). Ok, it seems everything's in order, but we don't carry 3rd generation iPods anymore. We'll give you back 150$ and you can put that towards a new ipod.

You: (smiling sneakily and thinking) hahahahh, I just got a brand new iPod for the 20$ of my original service plan.

Buy the warranty on this one too. Originally, you paid full price for the the first ipod, but you got all that ipod money back and only had to legitimately pay for a service plan . Now, you can just exchange ipods every year and only have to pay 20$ for new ones. Enjoy ;)

-I'm in the television news media. Two pieces of advice I can give you.

If you're leaving court after doing something wrong, walk tall and proud, look straight ahead, say nothing. If you cover your face or try and run, we will only chase you more, and makes you look incredibly guilty or retarded.

Second piece, is if TV people are camped outside your house, you have two options.

Give them nothing: TV is a picture based medium. Without pics, they almost have no story. Many will give up after about 3-4 hours. if its a big case, wait until its early in the morning when they're most tired. Many think they can sleep and miss nothing. We've had major perps leave police stations at 3 in the morning because of this fact. We got no pictures that night.

Second piece, give them something (On your terms): Make a deal that you'll come out and make a statement if they'll leave. If they agree, walk straight out (Tall and proud like before) and say what you want to say. If they want it, they'll be ready. Don't bother asking if they're ready. Finish your piece, say thank you, and leave. No questions.

The news media are like hungry dogs and cats. They won't leave you alone until you give them something, even if its a tiny morsel, it should do.

-I used to work at a European office of a Taiwanese hardware manufacturer. Whenever we got back 'faulty' hardware (mostly motherboards) that tested okay in our default hardware tests, we marked the serial-label with a little green dot. Only after receiving a hardware part that -already- had a little dot near the serial number, we would send it back to Taiwan for inspection. In other cases we would just re-package and sell the part to another customer. In all fairness, this works because in 90% of cases the errors people get are due to software. I do however try to check this first when I buy a motherboard or other hardware.

-I have a good friend that works at Wendy's. His managers told him by wendy's-law, if someone pulls into the drive-thru saying they're not from around there, lost, and don't have any money, Wendy's will always compensate them with free food. He ran into this problem when it actually happened to them, which is when the manager explained it to him, but told him not to tell anyone because too many people abuse it. Redditor's try this shit out. You may have to have an out of state tag on your vehicle.

-Rinse off the top of your beer can, and probably your soda can. As a worker in a local alcohol distributor, I can tell you some of those cans get touched by some very dirty hands, not to mention the collection of dust, grime, and any old, spilled beer that rests in the rim. If it touches your lips or what you're consuming, wash it first.

-At Disneyland (or most major theme parks) Ask for single rider passes. Gets you to the front of the line. I rode California Screamin' 10 times in a half hour, there was a 90 minute line but I just kept riding and riding.

-A couple standard size band-aids fit very nicely into the bills portion of a wallet. I have used these on a variety of occassions.

-To a much lesser degree, pepto-pill chewable tablets. Never worry about making it home again when your sphincter thinks it can slouch off.

-On the old standing coke machines (the ones with the buttons in a horizontal grid at the top), pressing more than one button after inserting coins will result in one beverage of every selection simultaneously pressed.

-If a glass or business door is locked, try pressing the handicap entry button. It doesn't always work, but the locks seem to be mutually exclusive.

Actually, just try doors in general. You'll never know until you try. Some friends had fun dressing up on a night of revelry when one really trashed guy tried opening the side-stage door at the local theatre. Completely unlocked, and not a soul in the building.

-As we all know, many customer service departments have people of middle eastern ethnicity working the phones. If you're in Canada this is no exception. When you are calling a Canadian customer service line, ask for a French speaking agent even if you don't know it. Just say "Oh sorry I hit french by accident". The agent will know perfect english.

-Never get your ears pierced at the mall (or any place that uses an ear gun). They are never sterilized. They will tell you that it doesn't touch your ear, but sometimes people do bleed, and it gets all over the gun. Then the piercer will just wipe the blood off because there is no way to sterilize it. Then the next person will come in to get it done, the piercer will touch the gun, then touch your ear and pierce it. I spent years doing it in the cleanest way that I could, and it still wasn't 100% safe. I did an IAMA here about it if anyone wants to read it.

Going to a doctor to have it done is worse because they rarely do them, and they also use a gun. Most doctors also have little concept about what looks good aesthetically, so they often come out uneven.

Instead, choose a reputable body piercer in your area who will do it with a needle. A lot of people get scared away from body piercers because of all their tattoos and weird piercings, but a good one will be osha certified, and know how to safely handle blood.

-Next time you order french fries, ask for no salt. They will have to make a new batch for you and you can just put salt on it afterwards.

You'll avoid the soggy, grease-infested potato sticks and also the cold, stale variety, and have yourself nice crispy, hot fries.

-When prompted with a promo code when checking out online, try FREESHIP. It worked the one time I tried it. ;-)

-If something you bought from the store is not working after it's return period, go to the store and buy an exact model of it. Then switch the two products and return the old one, saying it doesn't work.

-If one of your PC/console games is scratched or not working, rent it and switch it out.

-If you have high speed cable internet, you can split the signal and get basic cable tv as well. This is because your cable internet and tv travel on the same signal.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I will never understand black people

So many questions arise
Why are they fighting?
Why are the girls dancing?

wat da fuck